Wednesday, 6 November 2013
husband wife joke no. 4
husband : mein tumse bahut pyaar karta hoon !!
wife : kaisa pyaar ?
husband : mein mobile aur tu meri sim hai
wife : wow !!
husband : isko kya pata mobile dual sim hai !! hehe ! :D
wife : kaisa pyaar ?
husband : mein mobile aur tu meri sim hai
wife : wow !!
husband : isko kya pata mobile dual sim hai !! hehe ! :D
husband wife joke no. 3
Pati Patni raat me bistar par khamoshi se lete hue the
Aapas me koi baat cheet nahin…
Patni ke mann ki chintaein
1. Yeh mujhse baat kyun nahin kar rahe
2. Kya ab main pehle jaisi khoobsurat nahin rahi
3. Kahin mera wajan to nahin badh gaya
4. Kahin mere chehre ki jhurriyo pe inka dhyaan to nahin gaya
5. Kahin inke jeewan me mere alawa koi aur to nahin
6. Kahin yeh meri roz ki kich-kich se tang to nahin aa gaye…
2. Kya ab main pehle jaisi khoobsurat nahin rahi
3. Kahin mera wajan to nahin badh gaya
4. Kahin mere chehre ki jhurriyo pe inka dhyaan to nahin gaya
5. Kahin inke jeewan me mere alawa koi aur to nahin
6. Kahin yeh meri roz ki kich-kich se tang to nahin aa gaye…
Aur pati ke mann ki chinta…
1. Aaakhir Dhoni ne Ishant Sharma ko Over diya hi kyun!!
husband wife joke no. 2
Husband Wife chori ke topic par baat kar rahe the
Husband: Jo shakhs chori karta hai Woh baad me zaroor pachtata hai.
Wife said romanticaly:
Aur tumne jo shaadi se pehle meri ninde churayi thi unke bare me kya khyaal hai ??
Aur tumne jo shaadi se pehle meri ninde churayi thi unke bare me kya khyaal hai ??
Husband: keh to raha hoon jo chori karta he wo baad mein pachhtata zaroor hai!!!
husband wife joke no. 1
Biwiya apne apne patiyo se kis prakar ladti hain…
Pilot ki Patni:
Jyada Udo Mat, Samjhe!
Teacher ki Patni:
Mujhe mat sikhao, yeh aapka school nahin!!
Dentist ki Patni:
Daant tod ke hath me de dungi!
Doctor ki Patni:
Tabiyat sahi kar dungi!
MBA ki Patni:
Apne kaam se kaam rakho
Engineer ki Patni:
Jyada Current mat maaro!!
If you know others… add them to comments below
Pilot ki Patni:
Jyada Udo Mat, Samjhe!
Teacher ki Patni:
Mujhe mat sikhao, yeh aapka school nahin!!
Dentist ki Patni:
Daant tod ke hath me de dungi!
Doctor ki Patni:
Tabiyat sahi kar dungi!
MBA ki Patni:
Apne kaam se kaam rakho
Engineer ki Patni:
Jyada Current mat maaro!!
If you know others… add them to comments below
bade chhote joke no. 4
Chhote: kya be, tu udaas lag raha hai?
Bade: haan yaar
Chhote: but main bada khush hoon
Bade: tu itna khush kyun hai?
Chhote: Main gaaon gaya tha na, waha mujhe
cyclone mila
Bade: Abe tujhe cyclone mila to tu khush ho raha hai.. pagal hai kya?
Chhote: Haan, tujhe cyclone milta to tu khush nahi hota?
Bade: nahi , dimaag kharab hai tera, mujhe nahi chahiye cyclone
Chhote: Abe ‘Cycle Loan’ nahi milega to cycle kaise khareedega.. hahaha
Bade: Bakwas band kar !@#$%
Bade: haan yaar
Chhote: but main bada khush hoon
Bade: tu itna khush kyun hai?
Chhote: Main gaaon gaya tha na, waha mujhe
cyclone mila
Bade: Abe tujhe cyclone mila to tu khush ho raha hai.. pagal hai kya?
Chhote: Haan, tujhe cyclone milta to tu khush nahi hota?
Bade: nahi , dimaag kharab hai tera, mujhe nahi chahiye cyclone
Chhote: Abe ‘Cycle Loan’ nahi milega to cycle kaise khareedega.. hahaha
Bade: Bakwas band kar !@#$%
bade chhote joke no. 3
Chhote: Tujhe pata hai main aaj girl friend se
milunga
Bade: Kya baat kar raha hai, teri bhi girl friend hai !
Chhote: Haan, Aur mujhe shaam ko badminton court jaana hai.
Bade: Badminton court kyun?
Chhote: Waha net hota hai na… isiliye
Bade: Abe net ka kya karega…
Chhote: Girl firend se milunga na, usne bola tha, aaj shaam ko 4 baje Net pe milte hain… hahaha
Bade: Bakwas band kar!
milunga
Bade: Kya baat kar raha hai, teri bhi girl friend hai !
Chhote: Haan, Aur mujhe shaam ko badminton court jaana hai.
Bade: Badminton court kyun?
Chhote: Waha net hota hai na… isiliye
Bade: Abe net ka kya karega…
Chhote: Girl firend se milunga na, usne bola tha, aaj shaam ko 4 baje Net pe milte hain… hahaha
Bade: Bakwas band kar!
bade chhote joke no. 2
Chhote: Abe dukhi kyun hain?
Bade: Kuchh nahi yaar, pak raha hoon, bore ho gaya
Chhote: Hmm, tujhe pata hai ek janwar hamesha maje me rehta hai
Bade: kya baat kar raha hai, hamesha?
Chhote: haan hamesha!!
Bade: Chahe kuchh bhi ho jaye?
Chhote: haan, kuchh bhi ho jaye
Bade: Kaunsa janwar hai?
Chhote: Saanp
Bade: saanp… snake? wo kaise
Chhote: Abe saanp ke fun hota hai na, isliye.. hahaha
Bade: Bakwas band kar!!!
bade chhote joke no. 1
Chhote: Kya be, kab se upar dekh raha hai
Bade: Birds ko dekh raha hoon, unki life kitni mast hai na…
Chhote: wo kaise?
Bade: arey wo udd sakte hain na… kitni mast life hai
Chhote: to isme kya hua, aadmi bhi udd sakte hain
Bade: abe chal, aadmi kaise udd sakte hain
Chhote: udte hain.. tujhe uddna hai ?
Bade: wo kaise?
Chhote: Road pe khada ho ja, abhi truck ayega aur tujhe udaa dega… hahaha !
Bade: Bakwas band kar!!!
santa banta joke no. 5
Bank Manager:
Hamara Bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai..
Hamara Bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai..
Santa:
Jab dene mein interest hi nahi hai, to kyon de rahe ho?
Nahin chahiye!
Jab dene mein interest hi nahi hai, to kyon de rahe ho?
Nahin chahiye!
santa banta joke no. 4
Ek Car Me Santa with Family Ja Raha Tha
Police Ne Car Ko Roka Aur Bola :
Ye Suraksha Week Hai,
Aap Belt Pehan Kar Car Chala Rahe Ho,
Isliye Aapko 5000 Ka Inaam Diya Jata Hai…!!
Aap Is Inaam Ka Kya Karoge ??
Ye Suraksha Week Hai,
Aap Belt Pehan Kar Car Chala Rahe Ho,
Isliye Aapko 5000 Ka Inaam Diya Jata Hai…!!
Aap Is Inaam Ka Kya Karoge ??
Santa – Main Isse Apna Driving Licence Banwaunga.!
Tabhi Uski Maa Boli – Iski Baat Ka Yakin Mat Karo, Daru Pikar Kuch Bhi Bolta Hai!!
Awaaz sunke uske Papa Neend Se Jage
Aur Police Ko Dekh Ke Bole-
Mujhe Pata Tha Ki Chori Ki Car Mein Hum Zyada Dur Nahi Ja Payenge..!!
Aur Police Ko Dekh Ke Bole-
Mujhe Pata Tha Ki Chori Ki Car Mein Hum Zyada Dur Nahi Ja Payenge..!!
santa banta joke no. 3
Santa: Pados me kya chal raha hai?
Banta: Birthday hai
Santa: Kiska?
Banta : toyou ka
Santa : yeh kaisa naam hai ?
Banta : suna sab gaa rahe the happy birthday to you !!
santa banta joke no. 2
Ek jagah par gaadi ki neelami ho rahi thi
10 Lakh
15 Lakh!
20 Lakh!
Santa ne gaadi ki taraf dekha, aur socha yeh gaadi to itni tooti footi haalat mein hai… phir bhi!!
Usse raha nahin gaya, aur Banta ke paas jaker bola
Santa: Yeh puraani tooti footi car ki itni keemat kyun laga rahe hain yeh log, aisi kya khoobi hai iss car mein?
Banta: Arey Paaji, maine suna hai, jo bhi iss gaadi ko khareedta hai uski Biwi ka accident ho jata hai!!
Santa: 50 Lakh!!
10 Lakh
15 Lakh!
20 Lakh!
Santa ne gaadi ki taraf dekha, aur socha yeh gaadi to itni tooti footi haalat mein hai… phir bhi!!
Usse raha nahin gaya, aur Banta ke paas jaker bola
Santa: Yeh puraani tooti footi car ki itni keemat kyun laga rahe hain yeh log, aisi kya khoobi hai iss car mein?
Banta: Arey Paaji, maine suna hai, jo bhi iss gaadi ko khareedta hai uski Biwi ka accident ho jata hai!!
Santa: 50 Lakh!!
santa banta joke no. 1
Santa calls up the doc at 2 AM. "Doc, my wife is having severe abdomen pain. I think it's her appendix."
"What nonsense!" says the doc sleepily.
"I took out your wife's appendix two years ago. Go back to sleep."
Five minutes later, the phone rings and it's Santa again.
"Doc, I'm sure it's her appendix."
"Oh God!" the doctor groaned.
"Did you ever hear of anyone having a second appendix?"
"No...," says Santa. "But I'm sure you must have heard of someone having a second wife..!!!!"
"What nonsense!" says the doc sleepily.
"I took out your wife's appendix two years ago. Go back to sleep."
Five minutes later, the phone rings and it's Santa again.
"Doc, I'm sure it's her appendix."
"Oh God!" the doctor groaned.
"Did you ever hear of anyone having a second appendix?"
"No...," says Santa. "But I'm sure you must have heard of someone having a second wife..!!!!"
Monday, 4 November 2013
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